Big Christmas Blowout - Part One (ummm boy!)
Knowing me, this could either be an insightful elucidation of the birth of Jesus, or the end result of eating something during the holidays that disagrees with your digestive system. I'm going to give you a minute to pray.
If you don't know me, just go ahead and read the rant.
I’m going to continue by saying that it has taken more than three days to write this rant. It usually takes about three hours. But this one was special. I thought I had this whole Christmas thing worked out… I was wrong.
And after writing this rant I realize things are never as clear as I’d like them to be, and I’m not as smart as I’d like, either. So we’re really taking this journey back to the first Christmas together. How special.
Those of us who are familiar with Christmas think we have a wealth of knowledge we can share with the uninitiated.. like how many wise men rode their camels to the inn in Bethlehem to visit Jesus.
If you said three, please don't share the Christmas story with others. You're wrong... about everything. First, the wise men never made it to the manger… and based on the last 3 days, I don’t think they even made it to Bethlehem.
No, they didn't get lost. They were being led by their own personal star! How do you lose a moving star? Second, there probably weren't three wise men. The reason everybody thinks there were 3 wise men is because there were 3 gifts.
We’ll get into those later. The only thing we can tell for sure is that there were wise men… wise means 2 men or more. Third, there's no information on what they rode, if they rode anything... coulda walked... but probably rode…something.
Donkeys would have been the most commonly used transportation vehicle. Camels are terribly pricy! If they had waited for the bus they wouldn’t have arrived in Jerusalem until sometime after 1830 AD. Then what’s the point.
It was probably a long way... maybe... we don't know how far they traveled because we don't know where they came from. I'm a lot like them... people normally don't know where I'm coming from. Not like you care, but I’m guessing they had some form of vehiculation.
Now let's deal with other aspects of the reality of the wise men.
The only Biblical record we have of the wise men is in Matthew 2:1-18. All the bold italicized text is scripture. Comments added by me are regular text. So here’s Matthew 2:1-18 NKJV, with my comments:
Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, saying, “Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the East and have come to worship Him.”
You’ll notice there is no starting point mentioned… all we know is that they came from the east… and there’s a lot of land east of Judea. No mention of them packing swimming trunks either. So we can probably limit their starting point to somewhere on the mainland of Asia, east of Judea.
So no island hopping through the South China Sea. There’s also no mention of when they arrived in relation to Jesus’ birth. We just know that Jesus had already been born. They’re late! Those smelly shepherds have already been to see Him in Luke chapter 2… oh, don’t worry, I’ll get there.
That’s probably what you’re afraid of. Moving on.
When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him. And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born.
Both the wise men and Herod were extremely excited about the birth… but for different reasons. The wise men rejoiced. Herod went Vesuvius!… that means he exploded. He was the King of the Jews. There wasn’t room for another one.
I don’t know how long the wise men visited, but it appears it was long enough for Herod to “trouble” the entire city. I recommend the soothing qualities of frankincense and myrrh (m y r r h?… where do these people learn to spell?).
So they said to him, “In Bethlehem of Judea, for thus it is written by the prophet: ‘‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are not the least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you shall come a Ruler who will shepherd My people Israel.’”
So it wasn’t like it was a surprise that the Christ was coming, they just hadn’t planned for then. Probably shoulda got a cake (I love cake). Herod wouldn’t have even known “then” was now if the wise men hadn’t shown up. However, the wise men didn’t seem to know where “where” was.
So they probably figured if they stopped by the palace visitors center they could get directions. But that “troubled” Herod, who “troubled” Jerusalem, which undoubtedly “troubled” the chief priests and scribes. But Micah, the aforementioned quoted prophet, doesn’t say anything about a king.
He mentions a Ruler who will Shepherd His people. Doesn’t sound like something Herod would like to be at all. Shepherds protect stupid animals, don’t bathe often, live outside, and are not invited inside. I recommend the aromatic qualities of frankincense and myrrh (I still think it’s a stupid why to spell “myrrh”, but at least “y” gets to be a vowel).
What’s the trouble?
Then Herod, when he had secretly called the wise men, determined from them what time the star appeared. And he sent them to Bethlehem and said, “Go and search carefully for the young Child, and when you have found Him, bring back word to me, that I may come and worship Him also.”
Even though Herod has his own personal rage party going on inside, he’s cooler than a penguin in winter on the outside. But why does Herod secretly call the wise men? I’m thinking he doesn’t want the entire kingdom hearing about this King of the Jews thing… everybody heading to Bethlehem to find their Messiah and then anointing HIM King!
That could potentially ruin his Christmas. Relax. We’re not going to celebrate Christmas until 336 AD!(1) And you’ll be dead. But there is potential risk to his throne. Consider that the first thing Herod does, in the secret wise men meeting, is determine what time the star appears. So maybe Jesus isn’t a baby by the time the wise men drop in?
This is the first reason the wise men don’t get to the inn, and probably not Bethlehem. Based on the astronomical information the wise men give Herod, Jesus isn’t a baby. And the older He is, the greater the threat He could be declared King of the Jews!
When they heard the king, they departed; and behold, the star which they had seen in the East went before them, till it came and stood over where the young Child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy. And when they had come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshiped Him.
And when they had opened their treasures, they presented gifts to Him: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
This is the second reason the wise men don’t get to the inn… or Bethlehem. They came to a “house”. Well, it’s not an inn. If we’re going to get technical here, the original translation of the word used for “house” is, “a house”. That meant an inhabited edifice, or a dwelling… a family dwelling. And it’s the word used to describe all the other houses mentioned in the book of Matthew.
The translation for the word “inn” is (wait of it), “an inn”. Of possible further interest, for the anally impaired (which must be me, since I’m going to mention it), is that the word “inn” is only mentioned 2 times in the New Testament (of the Bible)… both in Luke. Whereas the word for “house” appears 25 times in the Book of Matthew alone. And if you think that’s anal, you should meet the scribes.
Scribes are insanely meticulous… and a lot more anal than me… and you don’t want to know why they call people anal-retentive. Having just blown things up with all the anal references, what I wanted to point out was that the scribes who wrote all this historical stuff would have never mistaken an inn for a house. And that can take us to our next point. The scripture refers to Jesus as a “young Child”.
When the wise men arrive… at the “house”… He is NOT a baby! That’s not a mistake. Scribes are anal. Moving on (thankfully).
Then, being divinely warned in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed for their own country another way.
Now when they had departed, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, “Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him.”
When he arose, he took the young Child and His mother by night and departed for Egypt, and was there until the death of Herod, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying, “Out of Egypt I called My Son.”
So as soon as the wise men leave, Joseph and the family leave for an extended vacation in Egypt the next day! Notice that it’s an extended stay. They’re not coming back anytime soon. In fact, they end up staying in Egypt until Herod is dead. That sorta indicates that as long as Herod is alive he’s going to “seek the young Child to destroy Him”. Again, Jesus is referred to as a child… not a baby.
Wise men still don’t go to Bethlehem.
Then Herod, when he saw that he was deceived by the wise men, was exceedingly angry; and he sent forth and put to death all the male children who were in Bethlehem and in all its districts, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had determined from the wise men. Then was fulfilled what was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet, saying:
“A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation, weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.”
Some unknown time later Herod determines he’s been bamboozled by the wise men, and he kills all the young boys that are under two, in and around Bethlehem. And he determined the age of the boys that would be killed based on his time with the wise men. Given that Bethlehem is about 2 to 3 hours from Jerusalem by camel, they would have gotten there the same day they left Herod.
Didn’t actually time it, but the two cities are 6 miles apart, camel walking speed is about 3 miles per hour, the terrain is hilly, and the camel union requires your camel gets a break, that’s 3 hours tops. Have I missed anything? So that means that Herod should expect to hear back from the wise men in a matter of days… depending on how much celebration was going on at the inn… but they didn’t get to the inn… because that’s not where the star led them.
And I’ll get to that in a minute.
It probably wouldn’t have been long before Herod would have realized he’d been left hanging by the wise men. And he probably didn’t sit on his big tochus for two years before realizing they weren’t coming back. He may not have been the brightest candle on the nightstand, but he was ruthless… so I don’t think he’d have waited long before sending the troops into Bethlehem. He told his men to kill any boy that was two and under based on the information the wise men gave him.
And that’s reason number 3 for why the wise men didn’t get to Bethlehem… Jesus wasn’t there. He was in Nazareth, because that’s where the scripture in Luke says He was… and I’ll get into that in a minute (this is getting too complicated). So why did Herod kill only the boys in the region around Bethlehem? I don’t know. You tell me… you weren’t paying attention, were you? I’ll give you a guess. It was because it’s the only location he had. Maybe he thought Jesus would still be there.
But I’ll bet he didn’t stop looking… for the rest of his miserable life. And that’s why Joseph stayed in Egypt until Herod died. Oh yeah, it’s all coming together.
To be honest, this is not a good start for my favorite holiday. God sends us the Savior of the World, and Herod responds by killing young boys and babies! But it’s a good lesson that anything God does for good, satan will try to turn into evil! God isn’t unaware of satan’s disdain for anything good… and if you don’t have love… well, you’ve got the other thing.
But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.
Genesis 50:20 KJV
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31 KJV
This is where I get to the scripture in Luke 2:1-24 NKJV:
And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. This census first took place while Cyrenius was governing Syria. So all went to be registered, everyone to his own city.
Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was with child. So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered.
And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.
For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”
Apparently finding a baby in a feeding trough was an oddity even back then. But they definitely aren’t looking for a young child in a house. They’re looking for a baby in a stable. I’m guessing the star stopped there, which would have made finding Jesus easier. I’m also guessing it moved wherever Jesus moved, until, presumably, the wise men found Him. We don’t know when it appeared, or when it disappeared.
But the wise men knew when it appeared… and they told Herod… and that was how he determined to kill boys two years old and younger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”
So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, “Let us now go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger. Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which was told them concerning this Child. And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. Then the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told them.
And when eight days were completed for the circumcision of the Child, His name was called JESUS, the name given by the angel before He was conceived in the womb.
Now when the days of her purification according to the law of Moses were completed, they brought Him to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord (as it is written in the law of the Lord, “Every male who opens the womb shall be called holy to the LORD”), and to offer a sacrifice according to what is said in the law of the Lord, “A pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons.”
After this Jesus met Simeon and Anna… I’m leaving that part out because it’s not pertinent to my rant about wise men. That’s extra credit reading for any really motivated rant readers.
Then we get this monkey wrench thrown into the wise men’s supposed trip to Bethlehem (dang monkey):
And when they had performed all things according to the law of the Lord, they returned into Galilee, to their own city Nazareth.
That would have been 40 days after Jesus’ birth at the completion of Mary’s purification, based on the Law of Moses. Then they go to the temple, present Jesus to the Lord and head home to Nazareth. In the not-so-mean-time, the wise men ride into Jerusalem, maybe on camels, a year or two later (time frame unknown, but later), and tell Herod they’ve been following a moving star.
Herod tells them they can find Jesus in Bethlehem, but when they leave Herod, the star is leading them in the opposite direction. So they follow it to Nazareth. Never question the star! It stops over Joesph’s house (not an inn). The wise men rejoice, go in and find the young Child (not baby). They leave. Joseph gets a dream to move to Egypt.
The family moves the next day (talk about a quick relocation!). Shortly thereafter, Herod kills young boys in the region of Bethlehem. That’s my story and I’m sticking’ to it… for now.
For all those studying Levitical law, Leviticus 12:2-4 says a woman who gives birth to a son is considered unclean for seven days. On the eighth day the child is circumcised. The mother must then wait an additional 33 days, after the seven days of uncleanliness, before she is purified. So Mary would have had to wait 40 days before being considered ritually clean after giving birth to Jesus. Going to the temple was forbidden before that time.
After the temple, Luke tells us the family goes back to Nazareth. You would think that if the wise men had been at the inn, Luke would have mentioned that. He’s a physician. That usually indicates someone who is accurate and detailed. Historically there is no evidence that Luke ever met Jesus. So the information that Matthew knew about the wise men was probably something Luke was unaware of (ending that sentence with a preposition to irritate English majors… not really, but I’ll hear about it).
Otherwise, being the picky physician he was, he would have said something to clarify everything, and save me three days of brain racking! I’m still not sure I’ve got everything right… and I probably won’t care once I’m dead… but I do love being a Bible Sherlock. Well, for at least a couple days. Three days starts to hurt my head knocker, nicky, knacky, knocky, noo!
Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. The wise men never got to Bethlehem. There are an undetermined number of them… but at least two… or it’d be one lonely wise “man”. We don’t know where they came from or where they went. And they may or may not ride camels. Irregardless, your crèche (I wanted you to know I know what a crèche is, and look smart) will come with three… count ‘em… three wise men with their gifts, at least one camel (they’re pricy you know),
some shepherds with sheep on their shoulders, a cow, a donkey, a penguin (just seeing if you’re paying attention), and of course, Joseph, Mary and Jesus. I think I’ll add a penguin to ours this year. They look so formal, and who doesn’t like penguins?
Of course there are other options for where the wise men found Jesus. I came up with about five. But after tormenting myself with uncertainty, I decided to torment you with the Christmas story I’ve presented. Got your own theory? Please share it. Enquiring minds, like mine, want to know.
Since this rant is getting quite long, I’m saving my Messiah gift giving ideas until my next rant.
Giving the ol’ head knocker a little rest,
Don
All original text ©DCrouse 2024
Reference
(1) A little information on the first Christmas can be found at Christianity.com
https://www.christianity.com/church/church-history/timeline/301-600/the-1st-recorded-celebration-of-christmas-11629658.html
